If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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