Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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