The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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