She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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