Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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