She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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