i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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