i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
