Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just want nice things and good sex
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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