Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
