Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I love you. Go after that dick
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
