last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?