my being single is dangerous.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.