1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.