Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?

(843): View more from South Carolina

You're upset about this?

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(803): We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF? (843): You're upset about this? http://tfl.nu/f42n

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(908): View more from New Jersey

we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

you should have been aborted.

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(908): we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now. (1-908): you should have been aborted. http://tfl.nu/el6q

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(240): View more from Maryland

My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.

(1-240): View more from Maryland

Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?

(240): View more from Maryland

Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.

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(240): My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist. (1-240): Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab? (240): Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore. http://tfl.nu/3est

Replies (11) Good night (1018) Bad night (3626)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.

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(781): I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots. http://tfl.nu/2a1b

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(516): View more from New York

His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.

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(516): His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps. http://tfl.nu/q0ub

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(301): View more from Maryland

i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

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(301): i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk. http://tfl.nu/vlxs

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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(402): He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart. http://tfl.nu/f1o2

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(519): View more from Ontario

i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here

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(519): i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here http://tfl.nu/yje7

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(310): View more from California

Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.

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(310): Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former. http://tfl.nu/bzj0

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I woke up with glitter in my wounds.

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(778): I woke up with glitter in my wounds. http://tfl.nu/r4io

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(631): View more from New York

Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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(631): Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes? http://tfl.nu/b80v

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(503): View more from Oregon

Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.

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(503): Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush. http://tfl.nu/eadi

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(314): View more from Missouri

"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.

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(314): "Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high. (1-314): When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic. http://tfl.nu/714c

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels

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(423): You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels http://tfl.nu/y9c9

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(702): View more from Nevada

Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.

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(702): Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/5vt4

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