I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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