I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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