By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He shit in the fireplace
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
