sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think people are normalizing furries
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
