bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
