I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
In America we eat man semen.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
