just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
