I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
