Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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