she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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