so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
