i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
