She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
