Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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