just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize