I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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