i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
