Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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