Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he thought i was a dude.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
