A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize