gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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