Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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