We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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