And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
