If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
