I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
