I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
