The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
