My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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