I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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