he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
