so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
