so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
