think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
