I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
