I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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