I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
