Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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