Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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