he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
