i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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