she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My penis needs a shock collar
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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