he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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