i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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