I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Help. Why am I so naked?
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