you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
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Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
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There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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