Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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