***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize