i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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